Daily Newsie

It’s not often that one gets the opportunity to be a guest columnist here at Daily Newsie. Sadly, my writing skills are far beneath those you’ve come to expect, but today we encountered a posting dilemma. Newsie is out of town for the evening, and doesn’t have the laptop with her. So in order to maintain the posting requirement for NaBloPoMo, I’m filling in for this one day.

Yesterday’s post made me think of all the things one of my brothers and I used to do when we were young. Every time my family gets together, we usually have a lot of conversations started along the lines of “Remember when we lived in [insert state here], when…” Though in our case, the stories always end with something more akin to “… and we’re lucky Mom didn’t kill us.”

Some highlights of The Husband’s childhood:

• Living in California, we somehow discovered that the bars on the fence surrounding the apartment complex pool area were rusted enough at the welds that we could pull them apart, sometimes even detaching them. This discovery ended up yielding a $300-$400 bill for my parents. Timeframe: Grade 4, I believe.

• Also in California, we discovered the “Muppet Joke Line” - essentially a “Joke A Day” service, with per-call fees that ran up an exorbitant phone bill. Timeframe: Grade 5

• Little Creek, Virgina – After my mother had just finished cleaning our apartment prior to moving out, she made a store run. My brother and I got into some sort of argument that somehow escalated to me chasing him through the apartment. Rather than chase him up the stairs, I grabbed the nearest item available, a bottle of Children’s Tylenol (liquid), and threw it at him. I missed him, but discovered that such a small bottle can produce a LARGE red stain on the wall. So large that it ended all thoughts of whatever we’d been arguing about, and only left thoughts of our doom. Timeframe: Grade 6

There are plenty of others, but they’ll have to remain untold (at least in print form) for now.

Thanks for stopping by!  Newsie will be back with posts of her own tomorrow.

Staff Photo

The Husband should not be mistaken for an actual writer… nor illustrator of awesome staff photos.